Over my DJ’ing career, I have provided the disco music for thousands of weddings (no exaggeration) and I have met and had conversations with hundreds of best men. This blog has been inspired by those conversations and their candid comments as inevitably their speech is nearly always the opening dialogue that we have, along with how easy it was to plan and structure. I have researched some key points from the internet
Before you get asked to be a Best Man, the best man speech format might seem like an obvious one, but once you are put in the role, it can be difficult to nail down and highlight all the ingredients.
Depending on your relationship with the groom, a best man speech can vary greatly. Whatever your relationship with the groom, be it as a friend or his brother, the most important thing is that you deliver on the basics. It’s important not to put too much pressure on yourself because you’ll end up making yourself nervous and it could impact on your delivery. It’s important to be sincere and I also believe that if you try to ‘force comedy’ or funny anecdotes, then make sure you can deliver. If you can’t or don’t feel comfortable, then there is no need. The best man often likes to be the big joker and centre of attention to get the guests laughing and talking. Some can carry this aspect off very well and still be humble and respectful. If this is not you, then there’s no need to try to be somebody you are not. The bride and groom will love it more if you are genuine and sincere and just do an honest and efficient job on the day and beforehand.
Try to be calm about your speech whilst also preparing for it; ’winging it’ shouldn’t be one of your thoughts. As the famous saying goes that is oh so true in many aspects of life, ‘Fail to Prepare, Prepare to Fail’. So, to the speech itself! Firstly,
Introduce yourself. Don’t make the assumption that everyone knows who you are. Say who you are, and how you know the groom. Thank the groom for asking you to be his best man. Read out any cards and notes from friends or family who can’t be there on the day. (this can become dull and boring, so maybe discuss beforehand with the bride and groom if they want this done or not, or maybe just to read out one or two special cards or messages?) Include some anecdotes, as previously mentioned, they don’t have to be funny. They can even be embarrassing for the groom, but maybe get a second opinion from a trusted friend beforehand in case it ‘crosses the line’. The groom doesn’t need or deserve to be ‘thrown under the bus’, but maybe a gentle ‘shove into the pool’ would be acceptable and quite funny. Sincerity and genuine personal recollections or little stories can mean everything. Keep it clean and it’s maybe wise to try not to mention ex-girlfriends? Offer some advice about marriage to the happy couple. This can be serious or humorous to fit in with the general tone of your speech. This is not an essential aspect to mention unless you can make it personal and not from ‘generic marriage tips researched from Google’.
Say something nice about the bride, like mention how beautiful she looks and what a nice pleasant and positive person she is, or whatever suits her personality. Compliment the bridesmaids, like mentioning how amazing they look, or if they are young, how well behaved they have been etc. Propose a toast to congratulate the bride and groom. Finally, introduce anyone else who is due to make a speech, such as the Father of the Bride.
As a few footnotes to my blog title, before the wedding, although it’s tradition for the best man to organise the Stag Do, it’s got to be with the groom’s consent, or indeed working alongside and assisting the groom and don’t look to stitch him up. He doesn’t want to spend his stag do worrying about what might happen and therefore spoiling the day or weekend for him. The stag do recollections or anecdotes can then be used in the speech if appropriate.
Type your speech, don’t hand write it. Make it as easy as possible for yourself so if you experience a ‘brain fade’, at least you will have a reference note, so it needs to be clear and not scribbled on a piece of paper. If you are confident and have a good memory, then ‘key point prompt cards’ are still a handy tool to jog your memory at crucial times.Many best men get rather nervous at the thought of making a speech, but just be yourself, be honest and sincere and keep it simple, respectful and humble. Make sure your speech suits your personality so that you don’t wander too far from your own comfort zone as there is no need to challenge yourself. It’s good to remember that you are a big part of the day, but it’s not your day